Confidants! The key to your long-term success in life and ministry.

Without a confidant, the systems, staff, and vision won't matter, because eventually it will all come crashing down.

Steve Zimmerman

March 3, 2020

The role of leading a ministry or a congregation is a challenging one.  It is often launched into because of a calling or a distinct leading from Holy Spirit.  The certainty that it is “the right” thing todo can lead you to do the right thing at the wrong time.  

           What makes it the wrong time is because not all the essential tools are in place.  The obvious may be taken care of: an office, business cards, and a website, but what about the under the radar requirements?  When launching Bridge Builder Marriage Ministry with my wife, Melisa, in 2013, I thought I had all the essentials in place. There was an important piece that was absent and that I became painfully aware was missing.

           My role at the time was intertwined with my wife’s. We were co-leading a successful marriage small group while she was on staff at our church.  I was gung ho for saving marriages but a lack of a sounding board endangered everything we had worked to build.  I was dealing with a pornography problem.  The nature of the issue wasn’t the issue at hand.  My problem may be different than your problem, but it doesn’t change the fact that we all have problems.  We are all, in varying degrees, caught in the web of sin. What nearly destroyed our ministry was that I didn’t have a safe place to go with my mess.

           My friends were all involved in my small group and confessing there not only undermined my leadership, but made my life look bad and threatened to blow up the whole group.  Going to my pastor was, in fact, going to my wife’s boss and I felt it would most certainly impact her at work.  My family is 900 miles away, even farther than that from Jesus, and may be more concerned with me than the state of my marriage and the state of my ministry.

           I didn’t have a confidant.  I didn’t have someone close enough physically, spiritually, and emotionally to unburden myself to.  The lack of a seasoned, spiritually mature sounding board allowed a heart sickness to fester and spread into a disease that nearly destroyed my life.  

           Make a mentor/coach a non-negotiable part of your ministry. Proverbs 13:20 says:“Whoever walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”  It not only provides an essential element of accountability but is an excellent source of guidance.  They can be an optimal sounding board for a new idea.  We all need prayer.  Your mentor/coach will be happy to step and fulfill that role.  He or she may also be a vital networking link. The many fold benefits make finding the right person to connect to critical for your all around health and the long-term viability of your ministry.  If this piece is not in place, your vulnerability will be exposed.  Luke12:2-3 says; “Nothing has been covered that will not be exposed.  Whatever is secret will be made known.  Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight.  Whatever you have whispered in private rooms will be shouted from the rooftops.” and thank God he has created it to operate so. So, don’t wait! Find your critical confidant. It’s essential. It’s important, and it is a vital key to the long-term success of your church or ministry.  

Watch Steve and Melisa talk about the importance of having a confidant in your marriage...


He can be found at  


IG:  bridgebuildermarriage

FB:  Bridge Builder Marriage Ministry

Twitter:  bridgebuildermm

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